June 27, 2003
Earlier this evening, Ben and I were browsing the shoe department at a certain sporting goods store, when I pulled out a box containing a particularly stunning pair of New Balance running shoes. I opened the box. Inside was a pair of shoes (I kid you not!), but something else caught my eye. It was the small packet of stuff that keeps the shoes smelling fresh, and it was labeled simply "Do Not Eat!"
At this point, my mind began to compose a series of questions: Has there been a major problem with customers eating these packets? What do they taste like? Furthermore, why don't the shoes themselves have a Do Not Eat! warning label? Would not they, too, be harmful to your digestive system? Just what makes this little packet worthy of this warning, when other objects may be far more damaging if eaten--such as a bowling ball or a lawn mower? Why don't these digestive nightmares exhibit a similar warning?
Questions. Important questions. Yet questions without answers. If there are any among you who can help elucidate these matters, please share your wisdom in the comments window.
Oh, I almost forgot...
I can draw three conclusions from the lack of replies:
1) It IS just me.
2) Nobody reads this stuff anymore.
3) My readers threw caution to the wind and ate the packets.
Ah, nick, but you didnt give faithful Mrs. Esterhouse a chance to respond. I am familiar with these packets you speak of. I have often questioned this same conundrum (?), asking myself time and time again, "If it weren't labeled, would someone say to themselves 'what is that packet, i guess its a snack while browsing the shoe department. ill eat it.'" So in conclusion, i am glad you addressed this issue because it has plagued the Esterhouse mind for years.
Hey man, ive been reading your BLOG and the responses left by this elusive Mrs. Esterhouse character. Whoever she is, i want her to contact me. I hear she is smokin' hot! and by the by, keep up the wonderful banter-like rhythm of this BLOG. i love it man. miss ya bro, peace
By the way, Mr. Esterhouse ran off with some little fillie. so im single, you big ball of curly-haired sweetness!
Mrs. Esterhouse, how come you didnt respond to me wanting to meet you? and nick, YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO STEAL MY GIRL MAN!
Wow, a smokin' hot girl is interested in me?! Umm, thanks, Mrs. Esterhouse...I can call you that, right? Why am I talking crazy...
How you doin'? ;-)