In recent days I have cooked up an unusual number of great ideas. I should say an unusually high number, because the number itself (3) is actually quite normal.

Now I will share my great ideas with you, my only intentions being to impress you and make you think I'm awesome. Please save your ooohs and ahhhs for the Comments.

Great Idea #1: Heavier Utensils!
You can go ahead and toss out all your old diet plans, because I have the solution and it's oh-so-simple. Just think, if your fork weighed a hefty 5 or even 10 pounds, you would be eating and exercising your arms simultaneously! And who among you would even think about going back for that last bite when your fork weighs more than a sledgehammer?

Great Idea #2: Sugar-Coated Guitar Picks!
The picks end up between my teeth often enough anyway, so they may as well taste sweet! This may not impress those of you who do not play guitar, so how about this: sugar-coated pen caps and pencil erasers? Yeah, now you're smilin'!

Great Idea #3: Silent Microwaves!
It's 2:14am. You're hungry. Your stomach says "popcorn!" and you are all too quick to agree. But then you remember to your disappointment, your parents room is easily within earshot of the kitchen and the sound of popcorn popping is hardly a peaceful lullaby! What you wouldn't give for a sound-proof microwave!

There you have it, friends. One day these ideas will change the world. You may now oooh and, of course, ahhh.